Liberal and Conservative

Message

#1 Post by **palmboy5** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 8:59 pm

The Difference Between The Liberal and
Conservative "Debate" Over The War On Terrorism:

Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two
small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a .357 Magnum and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my
wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

Shoot the son of a gun! Then take your family to a baseball game, eat some hot dogs with apple pie, sing the national anthem, go to church and praise the Lord for one more day of freedom.

2005 · #2 Post by **2005** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 10:12 pm

Liberal Dusches are the reason the country is in the state its in.

philp · #3 Post by **philp** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 10:14 pm

Okay, at least get it right. I had to dig WAY back in time, but here's the original e-mail:

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats,
Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by
posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock ...40, and you are
an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out
of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to
come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips??"

Guest · #4 Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:27 pm

damnit phil llo

#5 Post by **palmboy5** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 12:43 am

those southerners finally got one thing straight.

Q12321 · #6 Post by **Q12321** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:38 pm

Conservative. Liberals suck ass. It's like what my dad said:

"It's these damn liberals. Everything is so, ugh. I mean, back in the 70s, if you made a pipe bomb, you'd get sent in, a slap on the wrist, and maybe a small fine. Now, you go through courts, spends months in jail, and probably go through 'psychological therapy.' Which is another thing, everyone today is a fucking shrink. 'Now, how does that make you feel? Were you abused as a child? Do you feel that you can live up to your dreams?'"

Damn Liberals.

2005 · #7 Post by **2005** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:05 pm

They weaken everything

philp · #8 Post by **philp** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 4:11 pm

Liberals. The people who brought us welfare, affirmative action and the Viet Nam war. How do you properly thank them for that?

2005 · #9 Post by **2005** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:11 pm

a few .45's should do nicely

#10 Post by **palmboy5** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:15 pm

no no .357s

philp · #11 Post by **philp** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:48 pm

Why not use a Desert Eagle .50 caliber?

#12 Post by **palmboy5** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:49 pm

cuz the magnums more fun. its a revolver! w00t!

Q12321 · #13 Post by **Q12321** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:19 pm

Some 30 ought 6 rounds should do. Sniper rifle, 30.06 rounds, mmm.

Guest · #14 Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 6:28 pm

omg u guys are classic

#15 Post by **palmboy5** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 7:06 pm

Willie thinks so too. classically gay.

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